Tag Archives: Irony

Evident

He could feel the sun almost directly overhead. He mopped his brow with an already damp red paisley handkerchief, stuffed the cloth into a back pocket and knelt. In front of him was a large mound of threshed wheat that he was winnowing before it could be ground into flour at the mill down by the stream.

With a big coffee can he put a couple scoops of wheat into the woven bamboo basket he was using. He stood up and with a quick upward motion tossed the wheat into the air. A light breeze that was always present on the knoll where he was working wafted dust, grit, and other detritus from the grain downwind. There was a thick carpet of chaff on the ground extending in that direction.

After several tosses he put his fingers into the wheat in the basket, ran some lightly between his thumb and fingers. He gave the wheat a few more tosses, repeated his test, then dumped the wheat onto a growing pile of grains ready for the mill.

He heard a small voice behind him. “Papo,” it said. It was Andalisha, his granddaughter. “Mumu says come in, it’s lunchtime.”

“Okay,” he said, “Let’s go.” He dropped the basket at his feet and reached out to find Andy’s left arm right where he expected it. Papo had been blinded 20 years ago fighting a fire at a neighbor’s farm. An almost empty kerosene can had exploded, spraying his face with shrapnel and fire.

She led him down the hill toward the stone cottage next to the mill. She was unusually quiet today, ordinarily she would talk his ear off. He reached over and touched her cheek and felt a wet track. “You’ve been crying,” he observed, “Why so sad?”

“Sendru is going to the harvest celebration with Idris,” she said bitterly. “He doesn’t even like Idris. She’s doing it just to get at me, I know it. She knows how I feel about him.”

“Ohh, I see,” the old man said.

“He’s already told me he doesn’t like her or her family,” she pouted, “and now he’s going to the grange with her. And he won’t even talk to me about it. I’ve asked him several times and all he says is, ‘later,’ and he walks away.”

The Conrads, Idris’s parents, were satraps for the local warlord and they owned the mill. In fact, they owned nearly everything in the valley. Andalisha’s father, Papo’s son, operated the mill for the Conrads. He wasn’t exactly tied to the land or the job, he could pick up and leave if he wanted but leaving in these troubled times wasn’t a very good idea. There was nowhere to go where it was different. His tacit serfdom, tantamount to the real thing, kept him and everyone else in the valley under the thumbs of the Conrads.

Over a century ago the Great Collapse, caused by a worm infecting the Internet that ruined the infrastructure of anything connected to it, knocked civilization back to the middle ages. With the cities in flames and most of their inhabitants dead fighting each other during the meltdown, the remnants of civilization, rural survivors mostly, degenerated into isolated pockets of Medieval feudalism. Warlords and their henchmen control large geographic areas and are always at each other’s throats—dark days indeed.

“Sendru may not have any choice, you know,” Papo said. “He must obey the Conrads. They can easily give his family’s farm to someone else to work and there would be nothing they could do about it.”

Andalisha had never thought about politics or power before, her naiveté nonplussed. She wrinkled her brow and said softly, “You mean they told Sendru he had to take Idris to the celebration or they would hurt him and his family?”

Papo could see the furrows between her eyebrows in spite of his handicap. Her voice didn’t sound so quite so childish as it did 5 minutes ago. “I’m afraid so, child,” he said.

Andalisha, deep in thought, led her grandfather across the yard to the cottage’s Dutch door in silence. Before she opened the door she turned to her grandfather and gravely said, “That’s not right.”

With a tight, humorless smile Papo shook his head. He said wearily, “and so it isn’t, child. But so it will remain until someone changes it.”

The young girl’s eyes became slits under her lowered brows as she digested her epiphany. “Ohh, I see,” she said.

What Goes Around

Ha! I thought as I escaped with my prize. No one saw me pick up the gig bag and there was no one in the parking lot outside Turbo Mike’s Bar and Grille. I got into my beat up old washed out blue Ford Escort and drove home. I was thinking I could probably get maybe $50 to $100 for the bag’s contents. That harp player wasn’t that good anyway so now he has a good excuse to quit. Not a big score but it would help the wheels keep turning a little longer.

Stopped at a minute market for some cigs and lit one after getting back into the car. I blew out that first puff then reached over and unzipped the bag. Along with a mess of wires, there were 3 mics, all Shures, not top shelf but durable and reliable. In a long case were a dozen or so harmonicas, most of them Blues Harps, a Hohner industry standard. To buy that stuff new would run about $500 but the most I could hope for from a black marketeer would be maybe a fifth of that.

How do I know? Some time ago, when I was young and innocent, I was leaving a bar while the band was moving their equipment. They were all inside at the moment and I saw one of the guitar cases leaning against the trailer, out of sight of the doorway and the rest of the bar. I was in a fairly desperate state then, I barely had enough to buy a couple beers, so I gave in to the temptation and snatched it. Heavier than I anticipated but I walked it around the corner to my car and made a clean getaway.

Inside the form fit case was a 1958 gold top Les Paul, and though I didn’t know it at the time the antique guitar was worth a small fortune. I found that out when I took it to a friend of mine in Arkansas who collects guitars and he forked over $1500 without blinking. Just by the way, I found out later I got robbed, it was worth at least five times that amount then, astronomical today.

Well, anyways, I had found a new and lucrative career and I ran with it. You can make a pretty good living ripping off garage bands in the organized confusion that goes along with moving equipment. And the take is usually pretty good. Garage, basement amateurs usually throw money at their musicianship; they have regular jobs and more money than they know what to do with. So they often have expensive instruments they don’t have the wherewithal—skill or talent—to use. They don’t sound any better on a $4,000 bass than they would on the $150 special because they can’t really play the thing to begin with. All the better for me, the prizes have been good!

I took one of the harps out of the bag. It was a Marine Band Hohner and it had an “A” stamped to one side. I blew on it and liked the sound. I put it down in the car’s console and zipped up the bag. Actually got $150 for the bag and its contents when I sold it to a “friend.”

Not too long ago I finally got caught stealing a power stack. Probably should have passed on it but it was the only opportunity I had that night. I needed the money so I gave it a shot. The thing was on wheels and weighed about 150 pounds. Bet you could hear it rolling across the parking lot halfway down the street. Anyways, they threw me into county lockup where I languished for the better part of a year.

Thing is, I had that old harp with me, I used to blow on it from time to time. It relaxes me in a way. While I was in the can I began to practice on it. I got pretty damn good pretty quick. I amazed myself. One of the other inmates played guitar pretty good and we’d get some good jams going. We were a big hit with the other guys, they said we were “headhunters.”

Since then me and the guitar player have been quite successful doing local gigs. People leave our gigs raving about how ‘unbelievable’ we are. They can’t believe we get that much music out of a guitar and a harmonica. Frankly, it was a new experience for me, I was actually earning my living instead of stealing it. It has made me feel pretty good. There’s something to be said for deserving what you get in life—at least when you get good things.

It’s funny the things you remember.

So, here’s the thing. Me and the guitar player are here in New York City for a showcase performance. Showcase entry fee was $500. We’re sure to meet key people, agents, managers, promoters, who will take us to the next level. We’re scheduled to go on next but I’m afraid it’s not going to happen. We may or may not get this opportunity again, who knows?

Somebody stole my damn gig bag and no one else here plays harmonica.